


Give you the stars

by UpInOrbit



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, Destruction of the Universe, F/F, I don't know what got into me but I swear its nice, Open Ending, Planets, Some kind of planet goddesses?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-30
Updated: 2019-08-30
Packaged: 2020-09-30 20:18:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20452973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UpInOrbit/pseuds/UpInOrbit
Summary: Jungeun thought she had seen everything when the stars started to disappear from the sky for apparently no reason, but that was before she found a girl lying in the middle of the woods who claimed she ran from death.Or the one in which Jinsoul fell from the skies, and Jungeun fell in love.





	Give you the stars

**Author's Note:**

> I have no excuse for this one. I don't know what got into me but almost 8, 15 pages and one bingo later, here we are. I missed writing for Loona so much, but if you're subscribed to me or follow me on twitter then you'll know I got pretty busy for an NCT fic fest and then this happened! At least it's long so it makes up for the time lost (?)  
Anyway, this one is for the 9900 bingo, which was a huge help for me to finally finish this, even if it was hard to fit in all the words. Thank you bbys, i love you three, you're the best <3 And huge thanks to Raina and Marta for reading over this for me, I really appreciate it!  
That said, I hope you'll enjoy this!!

The horizon was getting dark. Jungeun watched the Sun’s slow descent, taking the last remnants of the evening with it. Soon, it would all be darkness.

Every day, Jungeun searched the skies, looking for the comforting light from the stars around them. Every day, she feared another one of them would be missing, extinguished forever.

She had always loved the night, the calm that brought with it, the silence that took over her world, but lately, she had started to fear it, fear that one day she’d look up at the sky, only to find a black void staring down at her.

There were whispers, all over the galaxy: dying planets, stars wiped out from the sky, their glow put out like the flickering flame of a candle. She was scared she would be next. They all were. And so, every night she would look up at the sky, silently counting the stars. Every night, she cast a wish upon them, that it would all soon be over. And every night she found another missing light, she cast a prayer upon the sky, a farewell and apology, tears silently strolling down her cheeks.

Jungeun had gotten used to walking around her planet, as if that would make it be more protected, as if that would be enough against the invisible being that was snuffing the stars. 

That’s how she found her.

She was lying on the ground, her hair spread behind her like a halo. She was dressed in blue, but her gown was torn in some places, blood and dirt staining it. She was so still, Jungeun thought at first she was dead. She moved, however, as Jungeun rushed to approach. 

Jungeun stopped dead in her tracks, not even breathing, watching as the girl slowly pushed herself up. She looked around, as if confused by her surroundings. Her fingers curled, digging into the earth, tension suddenly washing over her body, but it was gone as soon as it appeared.

Carefully, the girl raised her head and looked straight at Jungeun. Her lips were parted, big dark eyes shining, her face framed by her blond hair. There was confusion in her eyes, as if she didn’t know where she was, but Jungeun’s presence didn’t seem to faze her. 

For a moment, neither of them moved, or said anything.

Jungeun wasn’t even breathing.

She had seen it, once, two shooting stars in each other’s path. The collision had been as beautiful as it had been deadly. The girl was even more so, with her hair made of liquid silver, bathed in starlight. She was breathtaking, stunning, beautiful.

Gingerly, Jungeun took a step forward, her eyes never leaving the girl’s face, searching for any signs of fear or discomfort. When she found none, she took another, crouched in front of her.

“Hello, I’m Jungeun. Who are you?”

The girl tilted her head, moonlight illuminating her features, a faraway look in her eyes, and smiled.

“I’m Jinsoul.”

***

Jungeun took Jinsoul home, even if “home”, would not be an accurate name for it. It was one of the buildings she owned so that she would have a place to live in whenever she set foot in the city. Jungeun’s home was the planet, her planet, but Jinsoul needed something different.

She could barely walk, and Jungeun almost had to drag her all the way to her cabin at the edge of the woods. As she did so, a part of herself searched the skies and earth, in the form of birds and animals, with wings and paws and claws. 

They found what she was looking for as she opened the cabin’s door: a long trail of fallen trees, violently wrenched from the soil, a crater in their midst and inside it, a pod, its charred remains still steaming. The inside was just big enough for one person to sit, and around it, there was evidence that someone had abandoned it on foot. 

Jungeun took in Jinsoul’s small frame, her torn clothes. It had been a miracle that she had been able to survive the crash.

Carefully, she lead Jinsoul inside the house and sat her on a chair.

“You can stay here for as long as you need, and I will give you a room to stay the night but before I’m going to take a look at those cuts, okay?” Jinsoul merely nodded. Considering the state her pod was in, Jinsoul had left the crash fairly unharmed, but there were some deep cuts in her arms, and bruises were starting to bloom all over the visible skin. To distract her from the procedure, Jungeun started to talk to her. “Do you know where you are?”

“Planet Yallip?” Jinsoul replied, her words slightly slurred with drowsiness. “At least… That’s where I was trying to go.”

“You reached your destination, then. Sorry,” Jungeun added, sheepishly, when Jinsoul winced as she started to take care of her injuries. “I’ll try to go slow. What happened to you?”

“I—,” Jinsoul hissed at a particularly painful stab of Jungeun’s cotton pad. “I was in Kahei. The planet. It’s not too far from here.”

“Yes, don’t worry, I know where Kahei is.”

“I had been there for a couple weeks and then… Something went wrong,” Jungeun’s hand stilled, just above Jinsoul’s eyebrow, but the latter didn’t seem to notice. She was looking at something beyond Jungeun, invisible to everyone other than herself. “Everything went dark and cold. It was the middle of the day but… The light started to disappear? And there were no clouds in the sky, just the darkness, everywhere around us. I knew what was happening, I had seen it before, so I ran towards the pod and left. I… I put in the first coordinates I could think of and fled as fast as I could.”

“Fled what, Jinsoul?” Said girl blinked, as if confused by Jungeun’s question. “What were you running from?” She insisted, unable to keep the urgency from her voice.

Jinsoul swallowed, her head hanging low between her shoulders. She twisted her hands in her lap, unable to speak at first.

“Death. I was running from death,” she finally replied, her voice all too quiet, all colour gone from her face.

“Death?” Jungeun repeated, her throat dry. Jinsoul nodded, her features contorting in fear.

“Something came. Something big, and hungry,” she replied, her voice was barely a whisper. She had her face slightly turned away from Jungeun, and the light that came through the window illuminated only half of it, leaving the other in shadows. She looked like a ghost, the shell of a living person. It sent shivers down Jungeun’s spine. “I couldn’t see it, but I could feel it, coming for us, for Kahei, for… For my home too,” Jungeun strained to hear Jinsoul’s words, as her voice dropped in volume. “It was so hungry and when I looked back… There was nothing left. Everything was gone.” Jinsoul turned her eyes to look at Jungeun and Jungeun shivered under her stare. It was vacuous, distant, as if whatever she was recalling was too painful for her, as if she hadn’t only fled the planet, but her own body as well. “How could that be, Jungeun? How could everything be gone?” Her words, they were as empty as her eyes, devoid of all emotion, as if she were too numb to properly feel anything.

At that, Jungeun took a step back, mumbling an apology that Jinsoul didn’t appear to hear, and left the room. She practically ran to her bedroom, closing the door behind her. She leaned against the wooden plank, feeling tears prickling at the back of her eyelids, sobs making their way up her throat. A part of her wanted to give in but she couldn’t do it, not yet.

The wind chime that hung outside her window softly sung, a silent eulogy that would only ever reach her ears, and threatened to tip her over the edge. Jungeun felt herself drown under the overwhelming sadness that washed over her. She willed the wind to stop blowing, taking the melody with it. 

The night became silent once again.

Mechanically, Jungeun pushed all the furniture to the sides, leaving a vacant space in the middle of the room. She didn’t need it, not really, but the slight burn of her muscles was good, helped to clear her head. 

Kneeling on the floor, she let her consciousness expand, leave behind her body, the tiny vessel that contained only a fraction of herself. There was so much she could see, do, in her true form. She was vast, untamed, endless energy capable of sustaining whole species and civilizations. Any other day, that would have filled her with joy but that night, it was only dread that propelled her forward.

She reached outside with hands that didn’t exist, invisible filaments made of thoughts, imbued with her essence, a silent beacon in the night. At first, no one answered, and Jungeun feared the worst, felt the cold and darkness closing in around her, but it was soon gone, dissipated by the soft glow a new presence brought with it.

“Yerim,” Jungeun almost cried in relief at the sight of her friend, or at least, the beautiful light she was right then.

“Jungeun,” Yerim wrapped herself around Jungeun and pulled her towards herself. She pulled pulled pulled until they left the darkness behind, and Jungeun opened her eyes to a purple field. Yerim smiled at her, kindly, if a little subdued. “Long time no see, my friend.”

The Sun was up in the sky and the air smelt sweetly of lilacs, and it should have been enough to comfort Jungeun, it usually was, but not that night. That night Jungeun threw herself on top of Yerim, held her closely as her fingers shook. Yerim hugged her back, let her seek comfort in her presence without asking anything, letting Jungeun find her own pace.

“Is it true, Yerim? Kahei…? Is it true?” Her question came out in whispers, as if speaking it louder would make it worse, as if the sole act of speaking was enough to attract the curse towards them. Yerim’s arms tightened around Jungeun’s waist and Jungeun let out a sob, the first tears rolling down her cheeks.

“Kahei… She’s gone, Jungeun. It stroke fast and hard, we couldn’t do anything but watch.”

Jungeun pressed herself closer to Yerim, dug her hands into her hair. She thought of soft pink hair and kind eyes, a sweet voice and a gentle soul. She focused on Yerim, the steady beating of her heart. Both of them were shaking.

“And Vivi? How is she?” Jungeun could hear it in her voice, her desperation, how she held onto fantasies that dissolved under her touch.

“She’s… Alive, but barely,” Jungeun let out a shaky breath of relief. “You know how this goes, Jungeun. We’re nothing without our planet, we’re bound to each other. Vivi… She’s a shadow of who she used to be.”

“But will she survive? Will she make it?”

She felt Yerim sigh, her warm breath fanning her ear. “I don’t know, Jungeun, I honestly don’t know. Haseul is taking care of her, and she said Kahei might make it, if Vivi makes it past these days, but it’s too early to say.”

“But she’s not dead, Yerim, she’s not dead,” she repeated, like a mantra. They had had so many terrible news, so many friends lost to the nothingness. It was a small blessing Vivi was still alive, still fighting. It meant she could make it. It meant she would make it.

“She’s not dead, Jungeun,” Yerim repeated. Jungeun felt something wet against her neck, Yerim sniffling by her ear. “Haseul said the damage done to Kahei wasn’t as extensive as the one other’s sustained, and it was much less than what the first of us suffered. It has been bad but there’s enough left of Vivi for her to recover, for Kahei to hopefully come back.”

“Maybe this is a sign, then,” she whispered against Yerim’s hair. “Maybe they’re getting tired, or maybe Vivi managed to get a way to stop them,” Yerim hummed in response, not adding anything else, but she didn’t need to. Jungeun knew they were both thinking the same, that it was still too early to know, that maybe Vivi would never be able to tell them what had happened. She pushed the thought away, finding no point in dwelling on the what-ifs. Instead, she freed Yerim from her embrace, took a step back to look at her, her reddened eyes and tearstained face. “Why would anyone do something like this, Yerim? How are they even doing it?”

“I don’t know, Jungeun,” she turned her eyes to the sky, brushing away her tears. Jungeun followed her stare, her heart beating loudly against her chest. “It’s almost as if they want to blow out all the stars in the sky and if we don’t figure out what’s happening or how to stop them…”

“Maybe one day there will be no stars left at all.”

***

Jungeun took the spoon Jinsoul offered her and brought it to her lips. The cake looked good, smelt better, almost heavenly, but the taste... Jungeun closed her eyes when she bit it, forcing herself to swallow. The texture was off, but the worst part was the taste: it was too sugary, the different ingredients clashing all together, too strong on her tongue. The chocolate was too bitter, the orange almost rotten and, despite the excess of sugar, it left a sour aftertaste in Jungeun's mouth on its way down. The strange mix of flavours nearly made her throw up, but she managed to swallow the bite practically whole, not tasting it more than necessary.

"How is it?" Jinsoul's eyes were bright as she asked, excitement bleeding into her voice.

Jungeun attempted a smile. "It was..., fine," she said, after a heartbeat of doubt, the white lie slipping through her lips with a little effort, causing Jinsoul to frown. "Maybe a bit too much sugar," she added to cover her slip-up, when she saw the look of disbelief in Jinsoul's eyes.

Despite her attempt, Jinsoul's face fell and she stared sadly at the cake.

"It's horrible, isn't it?"

"No, Jinsoul, it's not! It's just..."

"Disgusting, inedible," Jinsoul completed the sentence for her, after tasting the cake herself. The sad and resigned look on her face as she threw away the rest of it broke Jungeun's heart. "I don't know what happened. I used to be a nice cook but lately everything I touch... Just goes horribly wrong."

Jungeun felt a pang of sympathy in her chest, and not for the first time. When Jinsoul had woken up after that first night, she had looked so lost, so small and vulnerable, that Jungeun hadn’t found it in her to tell her to leave. 

Instead, she had offered her a permanent place in her home, at least until Jinsoul considered herself ready to leave. Jungeun’s heart had shattered as she witnessed the relief in her eyes, before it was once again overcome by sorrow, a sorrow that rarely abandoned her, wrapped tightly around her, weighing her every move.

Smiling softly, Jungeun leaned her head against Jinsoul’s shoulder. “Don’t worry too much about that, Jinsoul, you’ll get better with time, I’m sure. And look at the bright side, at least you didn’t set the kitchen on fire,” her poor attempt at a joke earned herself a timid smile, and Jungeun rejoiced at the sight.

“Did you ever set your kitchen on fire?”

“No, but a friend of mine almost did. She was banned from the kitchen after that,” Jinsoul hummed. Sensing the sadness return, Jungeun lifted her head to look at Jinsoul. “But seriously, Jinsoul, don’t worry about it. We all have our bad days, but you’ll overcome them.”

Jinsoul tilted her head towards Jungeun, and her hand found Jungeun’s, giving it a tight squeeze. Through the window in front of them, they could witness the Su as it started it’s slow descent, painting everything in amber hues.

“Jinsoul?” Jungeun tentatively asked. Jinsoul made a sound in response, and Jungeun took it as a sign she was listening to her. “I’ve been thinking—“

“That’s dangerous coming from you,” Jinsoul snorted, amused.

“Shut up,” Jungeun grumbled, playfully bumping her shoulder against Jinsoul’s. She smiled to herself. “I’ve been thinking and there’s a fair today, like, right now and I… I thought that maybe you’d like to go,” she said quickly, inwardly cringing. 

Jinsoul took a step to the right and turned to look at Jungeun, her brows furrowed.

“You want me to go to the fair with you?” She repeated slowly. Jungeun nodded swiftly.

“You don’t have to come if you don’t want to but you’ve been so sad all these days, and it’s natural, of course! But I thought maybe it would be good for you to come out, and maybe you’d have fun! But you really don’t have to come if you don’t want too, it’s entirely up to you,” Jungeun rushed to add.

With a small smile on her lips, Jinsoul lightly shook her head. “Do you really want me to go with you?”

Jungeun let out the breath she was holding. “Yes, I’d really love you to.”

“Then, lead the way,” Jinsoul’s eyes were kind as she spoke, and Jungeun beamed in happiness, grabbing Jinsoul’s hand and practically dragging her out of the house before she could change her mind.

With the fair taking place, the streets were brimming with life, everyone headed in the same direction. Jungeun made sure to never let go of Jinsoul’s hand and to stay close to her, worried with the possibility she might get overwhelmed by the amount of people around them. 

So far, Jungeun’s concerns had been unfounded, as Jinsoul stared at everything with a child-like glee. Jungeun smiled at the sight. She had been preoccupied by the sadness that seemed to cloud Jinsoul’s eyes every day, the nightmares she woke up to. It was hard to make her smile, even harder to make that smile stay.

But as they entered the fair, Jinsoul was practically shining, her smile never leaving her lips. She was bright, so much Jungeun found herself incapable of looking at anything other than her. Inwardly, she regretted having forgotten her camera back at the house, wishing she could immortalize every second.

The fair took place in a park, and stands had been set up covering almost every inch of it. The air smelt of jasmine and lemon, and there was music playing through the speakers, even if it couldn’t be heard over the noise of the children laughing and screaming.

As soon as they set foot on it, Jinsoul shot forward, dragging Jungeun behind here, and Jungeun let her do with a fond smile. Jinsoul’s enthusiasm was contagious and her glee almost endless, and soon Jungeun found herself smiling as widely as Jinsoul was. There was no stand she didn’t want to inspect, nothing she didn’t want to try, and Jungeun complied, eager to keep that joy on her face.

Finally, after what felt like hours roaming the fair, they found a spot in which there weren’t as many stands, a small square practically free of them and Jungeun threw herself onto an empty bench, sighing with relief.

“What is it?” Jinsoul asked when she saw her almost lying on top of the bench. Jungeun weakly waved her hand.

“Nothing,” she panted. “It’s just that… I feel like my legs will fall off anytime now.”

Jinsoul laughed at her dramatic antics, before motioning for her to scoot over.

“We can rest for a while, then,” she replied. 

“Thank you for your magnanimity, your Highness,” Jungeun said, no bite in her voice. Jinsoul let out a laugh, as she sat on the bench beside her. Jungeun took advantage of that to place her head on Jinsoul’s lap.

Holding her breath, she waited to see whether Jinsoul would reject her. Jinsoul turned stiff for a moment, before relaxing once again. She tentatively petted Jungeun’s head, running her fingers through her hair, and Jungeun closed her eyes, feeling content.

“But seriously, how are you not tired?”

Jinsoul laughed softly, her hands still caressing Jungeun’s hair.

“I don’t know. I just have a lot of energy, I guess.”

“You have enough energy for all of us,” Jungeun snickered. Jinsoul didn’t reply, just hummed, and they fell into a comfortable silence. 

For a while, they stayed where they were, basking in each other’s presence as the lazily watched the people come and go. As the sky turned darker, the streetlights were turned on, and some of the stands closed, the vendors leaving for the night. Others, however, were just coming in, selling food to the visitors and soon, the air started to smell like food and sweets.

With Jinsoul’s fingers running through her hair, Jungeun could feel her eyes dropping, but there was something nagging at her from the back of her mind and, as time passed, Jungeun grew restless.

“Hey, you keep twitching and moving around, are you uncomfortable?” Jinsoul asked, stilling her hands. Jungeun mourned the loss, but she shook her head

“No, it’s not that, it’s just…” Jungeun closed her eyes, and breathed in deeply. “This is for you,” she said, her voice weak as she buried her hand in the depth of her pocket, and dug out a small and wrinkled package.

Carefully, she grabbed one of Jinsoul’s hands and placed it there. Jinsoul’s eyes jumped from it to Jungeun’s face, confused.

“What is this, Jungeun?”

“Go on, open it,” she replied, chewing on her bottom lip.

Jinsoul’s stare dug into Jungeun before she turned her eyes to look at the small package. Delicately, she opened it, making sure she didn’t tear the wrapping. Nervous, Jungeun kept her eyes to Jinsoul’s face, and so she saw the exact moment her brain registered what was happening, her expression morphing into one of absolute astonishment.

“Jungeun, you…” Not even finishing the sentence, Jinsoul grabbed the small object and lifted to inspect it. The silver chain shone under the light, the necklace ending in a small blue star, made out of lapis lazuli. 

She had seen Jinsoul looking at it with longing in her eyes when they had walked past the stand, but instead of buying it, Jinsoul had shaken her head and dragged her onto the next stand, almost refusing to look at the necklace more than necessary. 

The moment she could, Jungeun had muttered an excuse and slipped away to buy it for her.

“Do you like it?” Jungeun could barely keep the nervousness from showing, feeling her insecurity grow the longer Jinsoul stared at the penchant without saying a word.

“I-I love it, Jungeun, but you shouldn’t have bought it,” Jinsoul replied. Jungeun felt a weight being lifted from her shoulders, and smiled.

“Don’t worry about it,” she had seen the way Jinsoul had stared at the necklace, with poorly disguised want in her gaze. It hadn’t been a hard choice to make.

“It reminds me of home,” Jinsoul admitted, more to herself than to Jungeun. She turned her eyes to look at Jungeun and sketched a smile. “Thank you so much, Jungeun. I really appreciate it,” she said, reaching behind her to fasten the necklace around her neck. “How does it look?”

Jungeun turned in Jinsoul’s lap so that she’d be directly looking at her as Jinsoul showed her new pendant around. 

“You look great,” she confessed, rejoicing in the way Jinsoul almost seemed to blush at her words, averting her gaze in shyness.

Even then, Jungeun continued to look at her, drinking in the shape of her face, the way her eyes twinkled when she smiled, how her hair seemed to shine even during the night, a white halo around her. She tried to commit the image to memory, tucked it away so that it would shine on her on the darkest nights, not willing to ever forget it.

“What are you thinking?” Jinsoul tilted her head to the side, curious.

Unwilling to say what she had truly been thinking, Jungeun blurted out the first thing that crossed her mind.

“Your hair, it’s so pretty,” mentally, she cursed at herself, but Jinsoul didn’t seem to find her answer strange.

“Yours is too,” she replied instead, running her fingers through her locks, causing Jungeun’s heart to skip a beat.

“But yours is so… Shiny? And it’s just so beautiful, it’s like it’s made of silver or moonlight or something,” again, Jungeun cursed at herself and her mindless blabbering, but was thankful Jinsoul didn’t seem to mind, smiling instead.

“Thank you, I guess,” she replied.

“How do you do it?” Jungeun asked, propping herself on her elbows.

Jinsoul widened her eyes but, before she could say anything, the music changed and around them, the people started to dance: couples, friends, parents with their children, they all appeared to have been waiting for that moment, as they didn’t waste not even one second. Their energy was exhilarating, and soon Jungeun found herself bobbing her head to the music, Jinsoul buzzing with excitement beside her.

“Let’s dance!” She jumped to her feet, extending her hand for Jungeun to grab it, but Jungeun refused it with a smile.

“You go dance, I’m too tired!”

“Come on, Jungeun! Dance with me!” Jinsoul insisted, trying to hold her hand, but Jungeun shook her head, laughing, and pushed her towards the people dancing. 

Jinsoul tried once more, but soon she found herself surrounded by other dancers and, with a final smile directed at Jungeun, she joined them at last.

Jungeun stayed where she was, her feet swept under her body, staring fondly at Jinsoul as she bounced and shouted and laughed along. Even then, dancing obnoxiously and covered in sweat, Jungeun believed Jinsoul looked every part a queen.

***

“Do you like this planet?” Jungeun asked Jinsoul.

They were seated on top of a blanket they had brought to a park, Jinsoul wanting to do an impromptu picnic, and Jungeun couldn’t find it in herself to refuse. The days were progressively getting shorter, the weather a little colder, but that evening the Sun shone brightly in the sky, enough to keep them warm.

Jinsoul had her arms behind her back and her eyes closed as she basked in the evening’s sunlight. She was relaxed, head thrown back in happiness, her cheek smudged with cupcake frosting, her fingers digging into the Earth. She looked at ease, at home. Jungeun's heart filled with love.

“I do,” Jinsoul replied after a brief pause. “I wasn’t sure I’d like it at first, but I do.”

Rolling to her side to have a better sight of Jinsoul, Jungeun smiled.

“Why weren’t you sure?”

Jinsoul shrugged. “I think I feared it hit too close to home? This planet… It’s similar to mine, one of the most similar, I think, and I feared it would be too much?”

“Is it?” Jinsoul turned her face to look at Jinsoul, smiling softly. Her eyes were clouded.

“Sometimes, yes. But others… After my home was…” Jinsoul carefully searched for a word, “destroyed, I bounced around from one place to another, trying to look for something that could put an end to the pain, but none did. They were too different, and I didn’t feel the connection I felt back home,” Jungeun placed her hand on top of Jinsoul’s, squeezed slightly. Jinsoul turned her hand to squeeze back. “But this one… It’s not my planet, but it’s similar enough. I used to wake up in the middle of the night only to find out I kept forgetting things, like the way the air smelled during the summer, or how the mountains looked when the Sun set behind them. Here… It’s easier to remember,” she finished.

Gently, Jinsoul raised her hand and brushed her thumb against Jungeun’s cheek. It was then that Jungeun realized she was crying.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, ashamed. She quickly wiped away the rest of her tears. “It’s just that… I can’t imagine what that feels like. If I lost my planet, my home… I don’t know what I’d do. I’d give everything to get it back.”

Jinsoul lowered her eyes, her fingers reflexively digging into the soil beneath them.

“I’d give everything too. I don’t have anything, lost it everything with my planet but I’d do anything in my power, give everything that I had to bring it back,” Jinsoul admitted, more to herself than to Jungeun.

For a moment, Jungeun could see it, the pain those eyes contained, the darkness looming behind her mask, rising at the thought of everything that had been lost. Then Jinsoul lifted her head, and it was gone, secured behind ten vaults.

She gave Jungeun a weak smile, her eyes brimming with unshed tears, and Jungeun wordlessly opened her arms. Sniffling loudly, Jinsoul moved to lie beside her, her head on Jungeun’s chest, enveloped in her embrace.

“I wish I could do something for you, Jinsoul,” Jungeun whispered softly, her lips pressed against the crown of Jinsoul’s head. “I know it’s not the same, but you’re always welcome here.”

“Thank you,” Jinsoul replied, her voice hoarse. 

She muttered something else, too low for Jungeun to hear, but when asked to repeat it, Jinsoul shook her head slightly, replying it was nothing. Dubious, Jungeun let it slide, instead running her fingers through Jinsoul’s hair, the feeling enough for Jinsoul to relax against Jungeun.

“How long has it been since it happened?” Jungeun kept her question purposefully vague, aware that Jinsoul would understand, not wanting to prod at her wound more than necessary.

Jinsoul took some time to reply, and when she did her voice was calm, disconnected from her words.

“I don’t know. Quite some months, maybe half a year?” She mussed to herself. “After it happened, I jumped from one place to another, trying to look for something, anything that would make it better. I was too hurt to register anything, I couldn’t see anything past the haze in my mind, and I honestly don’t know how long it has been.”

“Would you like to go back, someday?”

Jinsoul huffed, her fingers digging into Jungeun’s hip.

“I don’t think there’s much to go back to but… Yes. I’d want to go back someday, even if there’s nothing left for anyone anymore,” Jinsoul’s voice died out, deep in thought, and Jungeun could tell she didn’t wish to discuss the topic any further, so she kept all her questions to herself.

In silence, they watched as the Sun moved down the sky, the sunlight filtering through the canopy of trees above them. Jinsoul’s fingers had found a sliver of skin between Jungeun’s shirt and jeans, and traced idle patterns against it. It caused Jungeun’s heart to beat loudly inside her chest, a butterfly frantically flapping her wings inside her ribcage. It made Jungeun want to scream, shout, smile, cry.

Reigning herself in, Jungeun focused on her own hands, trying to keep their rhythm steady: starting at the top of Jinsoul’s head, softly running through her locks all the way down to her shoulder blades, and back again. She liked the repetitiveness of it, how it gave her something to do and focus on, something that could calm her racing heart and sweaty palms. 

Under the evening Sun, Jinsoul’s hair shone like burnished silver.

“Your roots are starting to show,” Jungeun absentmindedly observed.

And it was true: the blonde was slowly receding, giving way to black. It wasn’t yet obvious, but it was there, and Jungeun found that she quite liked it.

“Is it?” Jinsoul asked, her fingers stilling for a brief moment.

Jungeun hummed in response. “Do you want me to take you somewhere where you could dye them again?” She offered.

Jinsoul lifter her head to smile at her, her eyes clouding ever so slightly. “That’s very kind of you, Jungeun, and I appreciate it but I think I’ll have to do it myself,” she replied. “I don’t think it would look the same otherwise.”

***

The Sun was barely rising when Jungeun returned home, her exhausted body on the brink of giving out beneath her. Her legs shook and burned, and her head hurt like it was about to split in two. 

She had gone around her planet, once again inspecting the night sky from every possible angle. Her eyes had looked for any new empty spaces, any missing lights. She knew the sky like the back of her hand, like she knew every mountain and valley and river on her planet. 

Her eyes had skipped the place Kahei used to take, a fresh wound that had yet to scar, but her close inspection had revealed nothing. The plague, the emptiness, had seemed to have stopped.

Normally, she would have looked for any place to rest, but she had grown soft, too used to Jinsoul’s company, and so she had dragged herself back to the city, and every muscle and joint in her human body screamed in protest. Lately, she had been spending too much time in that form, more than she preferred, for it could possibly lead to a disconnecting between her selves. 

It didn’t matter, though. Not then, not when she could finally see the house, and was so close she could finally touch it.

Her fingers closed around the door’s handle and a sigh escaped her lips. Turning the knob, she pushed the door to enter but something crashed into her.

“What…? Jinsoul?” She asked, barely making out her familiar figure through the darkness. “What are you doing?” Flipping the lights on, Jungeun looked at Jinsoul, and found her gripping tightly a small bag, her lips pressed into a thin line. Her eyes were glued to the floor, refusing to look at her. Jungeun didn’t understand, at first. “Oh. Where are you going, Jinsoul?”

Jungeun’s soft tone seemed to upset her, as she hunched her shoulders forward, stubbornly staring at the floor. Jungeun closed the door behind her, her eyes never leaving Jinsoul. She had a feeling the other would vanish if she did so.

“I’m leaving,” Jinsoul breathed, so quiet Jungeun almost didn’t hear it.

“Where to?” Jungeun willed herself to keep her voice calm, steady, to keep herself from raising her volume, from shouting, giving a release to the turmoil inside her.

Jinsoul shrugged, twisting the hem of her shirt between her fingers. “I don’t know. It doesn’t matter.”

“So you would leave to who-knows-where, in the middle of the night, and without telling me?” Somehow, the words made it through the lump in Jungeun’s throat. Somehow, she kept the tears at bay. “Why would you do that? I thought we were friends,” she whispered.

“I left a note. I can’t stay here. I— I left a note,” Jinsoul replied.

“A note isn’t good enough!” Jungeun almost shouted. Her hands shook, and she balled them into fists.

Jinsoul ran her hands through her dark hair, pushing it back. Gone was the blond, the fallen star. It had been almost completely replaced with the black, as dark as the night sky. 

If Jinsoul had once looked ethereal, a spirit, too intangible to touch, she then looked otherworldly, a vision from another lifetime, real and solid. Sometimes, it was like she was the only one who was truly real.

“I know but I had to leave and I knew I couldn’t do it if I saw you!” Jinsoul shouted back. “You’d make me want to stay and I can’t!”

Jungeun took a step forward, closer to Jinsoul. “Why not? Do you want to leave this place so much?”

“Of course not! Don’t you see it!? The problem is that I don’t want to leave!” 

Jinsoul turned around, tugging at her hair, but not before Jungeun caught sight of the tears streaming down her face. Instantly, she felt the remorse invade her.

“Jinsoul, fuck, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to shout,” she said, feeling guilty. “But I don’t understand, you don’t have to leave if you don’t want to,” Jinsoul let out a pained sob at that, and Jungeun’s fingers itched to hold her and bring her closer, but she kept her hands hanging limp by her sides.

“But I have to, Jungeun,” her face was red as she spun to look at Jungeun, tears falling to the floor. “Bad things happen when I stay. You don’t want me here,” she whispered, broken sobs clawing their way up her throat, making her shake uncontrollably.

“But I want you, Jinsoul. I want you to stay,” Jungeun replied, enveloping her in a hug. Jinsoul’s arms went around her, her fingers digging into her back, clawing at her jacket, but Jungeun didn’t mind. “Please don’t leave, Jinsoul. I want you to stay,” she repeated, again and again, like a mantra.

When the Sun rose, it was to see them standing against the window, and Jungeun gently pushing Jinsoul towards the couch, holding Jinsoul until she fell asleep in her arms.

***

It was going to rain. 

That morning, Jungeun had woken up to clear skies and a gentle breeze, a mild temperature for the time of the year they were in, but as the hours passed, clouds had started to cover the sky, dimming the light. The air smelled of thunder and Jungeun felt restless, uncomfortable in her own skin, waiting for the storm to finally break.

She had been walking, deep in thought, and her mindless wandering brought her to the place she had first met Jinsoul. The crater was no longer there, the pod having been moved away the day after the crash. Much had happened since, and the thought of it brought a smile to her lips, even if it was short-lived, gone the moment it appeared.

Jungeun groaned and shook her head. There was something nagging at her, lurking in the deep end of her mind. It had been plaguing her for the past few days, but it was only getting stronger, and still she couldn’t put her finger on it. It was driving her crazy.

She felt tired and full of energy, all at once. It was as if she was hyperaware of her surroundings, all too much and not enough at the same time.

Behind her, there was a sound, deafening in the silent forest. Jungeun spun around, surprised, but she instantly relaxed when she recognized the newcomer.

“What are you doing here?” She asked, the grin easy to come to her lips. When her question was met with silence, her smile fell, and she frowned. “What’s wrong?” Extending her hand, she took a step forward, but she didn’t get to touch Jinsoul, who sidestepped her in a fluid movement. “Jinsoul…?”

But Jinsoul said nothing, as she continued walking, approaching the space the crater had once been in. There was no expression on her face, her eyes mirrors, reflecting what was outside, hiding what lay within. 

Kneeling on the ground, Jinsoul caressed the grass with her fingers, twisting the blades between them. The ground was wet, but she didn’t seem to care, lost in her own head. Jungeun stared at her, feeling the apprehension grow inside her.

“Jinsoul? Is there something wrong?” That seemed to have finally gotten through her, for Jinsoul tilted her head, before standing up. Her fingers, still entangled with the grass, plucked some of the blades with the movement.

“Don’t worry about it, Jungeun,” she replied with a blinding smile. Her face and arms were the only thing visible, pale against her black hair and billowy dress, of the darkest midnight blue.

“Are you sure?” Jungeun insisted, shooting her a worried look, but Jinsoul’s smile only grew, becoming even brighter than Jungeun had believed possible.

“Of course, Jungeun. When have I ever lied to you?” Jinsoul’s voice was calm, convincing, but something in Jungeun was screaming at the inconsistency she couldn’t see.

“What are you doing here?” She opted for another angle, still trying to figure out what was wrong.

“I needed to see you,” Jinsoul replied. “I wanted to tell you that it’s time for me to leave.”

Jungeun blinked, confused. 

“What? Why are you saying that? I thought you didn’t want to leave,” she argued, concerns momentarily pushed to the back of her mind.

“And I don’t want to, but it’s time for me to leave,” Jinsoul said. Her words were simple, but there was a storm brewing in her eyes, visible for only a split second, before her eyes turned into mirrors again. “You’ll see soon enough.”

“I don’t understand,” Jungeun confessed. 

Her back met a tree, and she realized she had been unconsciously walking backwards. Jinsoul got closer, and she was shining, as a bright as a star. 

It was mesmerizing, captivating. Jungeun couldn’t look away.

“You’ll understand, Jungeun. I’m sorry it had to be like this,” Jinsoul whispered.

One of her hands came up to caress Jungeun’s cheek, descended down the side of her throat, to stop at her shoulder. The other rested delicately against her chest, where Jungeun’s heart beat frantically.

Jinsoul was everything she could see, everything she could focus on, dark hair, pale cheeks and eyes that showed Jungeun her own reflection. It was mesmerizing, captivating. They were standing so close, Jinsoul’s lips a breath away from Jungeun’s and it was too much, too close but yet too far.

Closing her eyes, Jungeun rested her head against the trunk of the tree, baring her neck. She felt the ghost touch of Jinsoul’s lips against her skin and she opened her eyes, to be met with nothing, a darkness so void of light she thought she had gone blind.

And then she felt it, the hand against her chest, the deafening silence, the air that smelt of thunder and rot. Reaching inside her, with eyes that weren’t eyes, she saw it, the wilting flowers and drying lakes, the dark wave the rushed upon them, the end of all living beings. Reaching inside her, she felt it, the warmth and energy and brightness being sucked away, away from the core of the planet and the core of herself, leaving her cold, small, empty.

“Jinsoul, no! Stop!!” She screamed, trashing around. She tried to free herself, but she was too weak, too small, too vulnerable. “Jinsoul please stop!” She sobbed, as everything that she and her planet were got stolen from her, and she was unable to do anything to stop it.

Jinsoul’s hands were cold as she grabbed Jungeun but her eyes were brighter, warmer, feverish. They shone as bright as the stars once did.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered. Her voice was reverent, almost in ecstasy. “But I was so hungry,” Jungeun flinched and tried to get away, but Jinsoul’s hands were a clamp around her, “I tried to stop, I really did.”

Jinsoul kept Jungeun where she was, pressed against the tree, her grip so tight Jungeun thought she was going to break and then, Jinsoul took a step back, let her hands down by her sides.

Jungeun fell to the ground, her body no longer capable of keeping her standing. 

“I wished it hadn’t come to this, but I need it back, Jungeun. I need my planet back. You and me… We’re one and the same, Jungeun. You’ll understand, I know you will,” Jinsoul continued.

Jungeun raised her head to look at her. The tears falling from her eyes blurred her vision but not so much she couldn’t see Jinsoul, shining from within, her white hair a halo around her head.

She was breathtaking, stunning, as beautiful and deadly as two shooting stars colliding. She shone as brightly as the stars she had stolen her light from, as brightly as Jungeun had once shone.

She was breathtaking, stunning, beautiful, and Jungeun cried as she left, cradling the remains of her own light against her chest.

***

“Where is she?” Jungeun’s voice sounded empty even to her own ears, but she didn’t care. She buried herself deeper between the covers, ignoring the worried look Haseul gave her, trying to dispel the cold.

It had been weeks since she had last felt complete, since she had felt anything other than the emptiness and cold that seemed to have taken over her. All her warmth had left with Jinsoul and Jungeun wanted it back. She wanted to hate her with every fiber of her being, and she _did_ hate her, but some part of her craved the warmth and light, wished to do whatever it took to get it back.

Jungeun closed her eyes, and pushed that poisonous thought away.

Kahei was recovering, that much she knew. Haseul had whispered that to her during her darkest hours, her soft voice somehow making it through the haze that clouded her mind. Kahei was recovering, and she would too. 

She looked through the window, her eyes glued to the spot Kahei used to take. If she searched hard enough, she could almost see it, the tentative light that was just starting to recover, a flickering mirage in the velvet night.

“Haseul, where is she?” She insisted, turning her head to stare at her friend. 

Haseul’s eyes were filled with worry as she inspected Jungeun’s face, but she went closer, sitting on the bed beside her. Wordlessly, she leaned forward.

“There,” she whispered.

Jungeun followed the direction of her finger, her eyes finding a star. Her knuckles turned white with the strength with which she gripped her blanket, her eyes glued to that one spot in the galaxy. It was bright, brighter than Jungeun remembered. It had been the first one to disappear, but it was alive once again, glowing in the dark, light blue against black.

“Jungeun, honey…” Haseul breathed as she saw the first tears falling from her friend’s eyes. Jungeun’s lips trembled and she bit them to keep any sounds from escaping her. “This was not your fault, Jungeun,” Haseul whispered as she laid on bed beside Jungeun, hugging her closer. Blindly, Jungeun reached out for her, her arms closing in around Haseul’s waist. “It wasn’t your fault, Jungeun. We will go after her, once you’re recovered. She will answer for what she’s done. It wasn’t you, Jungeun,” she insisted, repeating the words over and over again, until Jungeun believed them.

Jungeun didn’t answer, but Haseul didn’t expect her too, as if she already knew she wouldn’t be able to find her words in the dark.

**Author's Note:**

> And as I said, I have no excuse for this one, and I honestly don't know if I deserve rights after this heh I swear I will come back with something fluffy, tho ^^  
If you've made it this far, yes, this is actually an excuse for me to cry over Jinsoul and her blonde hair because she looks gorgeous but!! Her scalp!! So here's why she can't have dark hair, it's a bad omen ;)  
I hope you've enjoyed this fic, and I really hope it wasn't too confusing!! If you have any questions, please let me know!  
Comments and kudos warm my heart <3 I'll see you soon!
> 
> [tw](https://twitter.com/starryjinsouls) || [cc](https://curiouscat.me/Val_99)
> 
> \- Val


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